what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
