Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
