Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
