It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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