Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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