i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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