I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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