i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
