Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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