So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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