Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Never joke about your clitoris.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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