omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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