Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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