Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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