I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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