so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
