Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
