You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You ate ashes out of my bong
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
