I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
