Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
