oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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