so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
