We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
