ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
