There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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