I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
