u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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