my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
