just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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