Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
be right there i have to get my cape
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
