It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
