Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
is that a dick in a sweater?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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