That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
