YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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