I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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