Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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