barbara walters just said penis...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
