hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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