Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
