bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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