No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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