Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
