Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
