Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
