i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
