I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
