Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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