No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
