tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
