I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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