And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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